Tips For New Foster Parents As They Await A Placement

You’ve taken the classes, completed all the paperwork, got your license; now what? WAIT! While some new foster parents get calls immediately, others end up playing the waiting game. The reasons for this discrepancy can vary. If you have a specific age range or gender you’re willing to accept, it may take longer to receive a foster placement. Perhaps, your county or area already has a lot of foster home resources. Or a host of other reasons could play a part.

First off, if you’re planning to foster infants or toddlers, check out this list of practical items you’ll want to keep on hand. The items you’ll want to have on hand for other ages will vary but my biggest piece of advice is to NOT go overboard and try to buy it all. Wait till you receive that placement. I’ve found that if you put your needs out to local friends and family, people are more than willing to help send clothes and supplies your way if they have extras.

Tips For New Foster Parents As They Await A Placement

Prepare your home, declutter, organize. Get any projects done now, because it will be hard to find time once a placement comes.
Try to be patient. If you are through an agency, TRUST that your agency is trying to find a placement for you that would be a good fit for what you’re willing/able to place. Just because you’re not getting a call right away doesn’t mean they’re not trying to get a placement for your home!
Work on your mandatory training. Every year, you’ll be required to have a certain number of training hours. We find it more difficult to squeeze those classes in once we have a placement. So we’ve found the best time to do our trainings is between placements. — Some good options are classes on: Trauma, Connection, Positive Parenting, Grief, and Loss.
Soak up family time. Once we have a placement in our home, that child (or children) become one of us. So we take them everywhere we go and do all the things. But some kids are hard so enjoying our immediate family when we don’t have a placement is super important. We want to ensure our kids know they are important too.
Pray. Now is the time to pray for future placements. You can pray for their protection, health, family, that God would bring good friends and influences in their path, etc.
Advocate and help other foster parents. Even if you aren’t currently in the trenches, you can still be a vital part of the foster world. Talk to other foster parents and see what they could use help with. Bring a meal to another foster family who has just received a new placement. Advocate for a better system.
Educate yourself on childhood trauma. While that very first phone call will most likely be an exciting day for you, remember it’s a tragic day for the child. They are losing everything they know.
Create a care package. If you’re looking at taking older children, create a care package for them to receive upon arrival. (toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, nail polish, hair ties, face masks, sensory toy, etc.)
Get plugged into a good community. Support and community is one of the big areas that will most likely change once you start accepting placements. Even family may be stand offish for a bit but try to walk through life with others that who have been or are going through the trenches. Not just for the adults but for the kids too! They need to know they aren’t alone and there are other people out there like them with lots of people that love them and are cheering for them!
Sign up to provide respite care. One thing that we really enjoyed (and it allowed us to experience a variety of ages) was providing respite care. These placements are short term, typically for a weekend while the foster family takes a break or has plans where the child can’t be included. Some of our favorite foster care memories from the first time we were licensed are from our respite kids!
Set aside some money. Out of all our placements, I can’t remember a single one that came with the correct size clothing, accessories, or shoes. Sometimes you only have a couple hours notice so you’ll have to make a quick trip to the store for the necessities.
Join a carseat safety group. Being up to date on the latest car seat info and safety is super important.
Declutter. Take this time to go through the house, declutter, and organize. Once you have a foster child, it’s harder to accomplish these types of mundane tasks.
Rest. Go on a date night and get some sleep. We’ve found that doing foster care is extremely exhausting. Even under the best of circumstances with extremely well-behaved kids; the stress of the unknown and all that comes with fostering is exhausting.

Most importantly, one of my biggest tips for new foster parents is to keep in mind that you do not need to say yes to every call you receive. Sit down and create a list of ‘deal breakers’ and behaviors you can’t handle. Even though it’s hard to say no sometimes, the added trauma of taking a child who will then be moved right away adds unnecessary trauma.