February is a month we celebrate love. It also happens to be my husband’s birthday (it’s today actually!) and the anniversary of the day we first began our relationship. It’s a pretty special month for me! We’ve been married now for over 11 years and they have truly been the happiest years of my life. I find that I fall more in love with him as the years go by and we’ve managed to grow closer as a couple through the years.
Our relationship hasn’t always been perfect and we’ve certainly had our ups and down like any other couple. Despite any issues we had, I always felt like we had a pretty good marriage. Then one day about 2 years or so ago I decided “pretty good” wasn’t good enough. I realized that I’d gotten so comfortable in our marriage that I stopped trying to make it better. Over the years I had stopped being intentional about doing special things for my husband. So, I set out to change that.
I started reading books about marriage and focusing more of my attention on improving our marriage. I was intentional about doing things for our relationship. Again, it wasn’t that we were having trouble at that very moment — in fact, I really felt like our marriage was in a great place at that time. But you know what, the more I put into improving our marriage, the more I became to realize how much better it could be. It’s kinda like eating your sandwiches on store-bought loaf bread. The turkey sandwich tastes great and you’d continue eating it but then you bake some homemade bread and man, you just never knew what you were missing! Am I making sense here?
Anyway, my point is, marriage, I’ve discovered, is a lot about what you put into it. The more you work towards making the best marriage possible, the better it’s going to be. (Okay, I know there can be exceptions to this, but in general.) You might feel like things are fine, even good in your marriage, but if you aren’t putting regular time and energy into making it better, I can almost guarantee you that it’s not as good as it could be. My husband and I are closer, we are communicating better, we’re having more fun together, we have a better sex life, and we are happier than ever before, but it’s because of the time and energy we put into it.
So, what have I been doing differently? I’ve been making it a point to plan date nights (even if they are date nights I N because of our children). I’m reading books on marriage and books on improving our sex life, I’m praying for our marriage, and I’m making sure I set aside time just for us, among other things.
I had a thought the other day. I feel so happy with my marriage right now and I want others to experience this kind of joy in their relationship. I am NOT an expert but if I can be an encouragement to others in their marriage, I’d love to do so. I decided to start a group on Facebook for Christian wives looking for a support network. The group will specifically focus on marriage. I’m planning to have prompts each week and challenges for things we can do in and for our relationships. Whether your marriage is on the rocks or doing great, if you’d like to join me and the group, I’d love to have you. Click HERE to be taken to the Facebook group and request to join.
Especially as a mom, it’s so easy to get wrapped up in the day-to-day business of life, that sometimes we neglect our marriages. Whether you join the group or not, I hope that this month, the month of love, to make sure your spouse knows how special they are to you!