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How to Talk to Your Child About Inappropriate Touching

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Maggie is only 6 and although we’ve had discussions about how babies come out of their mommy’s belly, we have yet to have the talk about how exactly they get in there in the first place. I don’t think she’s ready for that quite yet.  

Maggie went to her very first sleepover a few weeks ago and I knew it was important to talk about inappropriate touching with her before she went. These days, you just can’t be too safe.

To be honest, though, I really had no idea how to approach the subject of inappropriate touching and keeping private areas of her body private. It’s not like that’s an everyday conversation you have with your kids, you know?

How to talk to your children about inappropriate touching

How To Talk To Your Child About Inappropriate Touching

I went in search of something to make this conversation a little bit easier and stumbled upon the book, I Said No! The reviews were good so I ordered it and anxiously awaited its arrival.

When it came, I first read the book myself. It was JUST what I was wanting. It wasn’t too scary or graphic but it also got the point across. The book discussed different scenarios that your child might encounter, what was right/wrong, how to react in certain situations, etc..

It also lets the parent decide what words/terms they’d like to use for each child’s private areas. Now, I’ve heard that really it’s best to use the correct terms so there is no confusion (For example, child goes up to teacher and says that another child keeps touching her cookie — if that’s the pet name you use for her vagina, the teacher is not going to know that.) So, that is what I did, but I do appreciate the fact that it lets the parents make the ultimate decision.

I said no book

I sat down to read it to Maggie and my 4-year-old, Jacob, was just as eager to listen, so I let him as well. It was a great experience for both kids. I honestly wish I’d done this sooner. I could tell they were paying attention and really grasping the material. It wasn’t uncomfortable or hard for them to understand what I was talking about.

I’ve read the book with my children a few times now and I know they have a firm understanding of it. I can’t tell you how much better I feel knowing that they know what kind of touching is and is not appropriate. I hope they never find themselves in a bad situation, but I feel much better knowing I’ve prepared them.

My plan is to read it with them at least a few times a year. I want to keep the info fresh in their minds and I also want to make the conversation natural and normal to them.

I wanted to share my experience with all of you because I’m sure many of you are at this same stage in parenting. The sad fact of the matter is that sexual abuse is usually at the hands of people or peers that your child trusts, and I want to do everything I can to protect my little ones, I’m sure you do too!

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diedre

Thursday 20th of April 2017

As I school counselor, I have used this book to discuss with elementary kids. I'm so glad you shared this!

Nicole M.

Saturday 4th of February 2017

I've actually had the generic version of the "private areas" discussion with my daughter since she was a year and a half old. She was only sort of comprehending back then, but every couple months as she grew up, I would remind her, when I'd wipe her, when I'd put ointment on a rash, when I'd pick grass off her butt cheek...stuff like that...that only mommy, daddy, or the doctor does this and if anyone else ever tries, you say no, and tell me. Now she's 3 1/2 and I hope we're on track. Love the idea of this book, but for 11 dollars, I can't afford it, so I'll just keep teaching her myself and hope it sticks.

Stephanie F

Friday 3rd of February 2017

My daughter started going to preschool and I'm constantly telling her to scream out loud IF someone trying to touch her!! Good idea to read her book like this. Thank you for sharing!

Maria

Thursday 26th of January 2017

You are a such great mom it really inspired me. Thank you so much for sharing Janessa. :-)

Judi

Sunday 22nd of January 2017

Kudos to you Janessa for being such a proactive mother! You are absolutely on target with teaching your children at this age. I hope others reading your blog are encouraged to do the same! Thank you for sharing!

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