So I was just talking about lonely moms and how it’s something we all struggle with at times but I didn’t want to talk about a problem without also offering a solution! So, today I also wanted to share about how to make mom friends, the good friends who will hopefully last and be there for you through thick and thin!
How to Make Mom Friends
Where to Find Mom Friends?
If you don’t have any friends right now (or very few) and you are wondering where to find new friends, here are some good places to start!
- Join a local moms group. Many areas have MOPS or other mom groups and this can be a great resource for finding a mom friend.
- Sign your child(ren) up for an activity. For example, I’m homeschooling my kids. By attending the story hours at the library (bonus, this is usually free!) or homeschool meet-ups in the area, not only am I around other moms but often times they share some of the same interests as our family.
- Find friends online. I realize this might seem scary to some people. It feels like online dating and how do you know who is really on the other side of the computer?! If you find that it’s hard for you to get out of the house though, finding an online friend can be a huge deal. In fact, some of my closest friends are ones I’ve met online. To find friends online, you’ll probably need to join some groups, but Facebook is a great place for that! Search for groups related to your interests. For example, I’m in a number of groups for women bloggers and other groups for Christian moms of large families. If you don’t see a group that seems to work for you, just create your own! It’s really easy. I created a Facebook group for moms due in 2018 and it only took about 5 minutes. It’s a great way to connect with other women and/or mom who share some of your same interests. Online friends are great for moms who are busy and can’t get away from home very often.
- Join a church. For years I was a Christian without a church. We struggled for a long time to find a good church where we all felt at home. However, if you are a Christian (or another type of religion), gathering with fellow believers on a weekly basis is a great way to make new friends and I’m so glad we finally found one for our family. Shortly after we started attending the church we attend now I started to help in the nursery. This has proven to be a great way to talk to some of the ladies in our church and really get to know them better.
How to Keep or Better Maintain a Friendship
Once you’ve made some friends, it’s important to put time and effort into those friendships. Here are some tips on keeping and maintaining a friendship.
Be the Friend You Want to Have
First and foremost, if you want to have amazing mom friends, you need to be a great friend yourself! What is it that you’re hoping for in a friend? Someone who will send you a message at least once a week to check in? Someone who will offer to watch you kids so you can take a quiet trip to the grocery store? Someone who will lend a shoulder when you need to cry? The BEST way to make good mom friends is to go above and beyond to be the friend you want to have!
Engage more with current friends or acquaintances
I think most of us are on Facebook and/or Instagram already. Social media is a great resource for improving your friendships. How often are you commenting on other people’s status’ or “liking” an update. Think about it, when you put up a new update, are you hoping for interaction of some kind from the people who follow you? Well, so are your friends! Show them you care by commenting on their photos or offering an encouraging word when they are discouraged.
If your friends aren’t on social media (or you aren’t) pick up the phone and give them a call or send a text every now and then! Check in on your friends, especially when you know they are going through a hard time but even when they aren’t, just because.
Be There When They Need You
Speaking of hard times, this is NOT the time to check out of your friendships! If you’re going through a rough time, let your friends know! Sometimes we moms just bottle things up inside and don’t reach out when we need it. Your friend may have gone through a similiar trial in life and could be a great support to you during your trial. Let her know what’s going on in your life.
The same can be said when you have a friend in need. Show her that you are there for her and go a step beyond when possible. When I had my miscarriage back in June, one of my friend’s had a customized necklace made for me with the date of my loss and the name of our baby. She also sent a card with encouraging words and Bible verses. That necklace is so special to me and it meant the world to me that she would do that for me. Another friend sent a book about miscarriage, another dropped off some amazing homemade soap and pumpkin butter from the local farmers market, and another brought a meal for my family. It made me feel so loved and cared for during a hard time in my life and I will never forget the sweet things my friends did for me after my natural miscarriage.
Go the Extra Mile When You Can
Being a mom of a few children myself, I also know what it’s like for moms/babies to be forgotten about as their number of children increases. When you have your first baby, someone usually throws you a big baby shower and everyone is so excited for the new baby. That excitement tends to fade with each new pregnancy and although I think most moms just know to expect that, for me, I’ve made it a point to try to do something special for my mom friends when they are having their 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc. baby. I know the number of baby gifts will be few and far between or the number of meals brought to them will be scarce, so I try to make it a point to DO those things for my friends, when I can.
Maybe you have a friend who is moving? Offer to help her pack or entertain her children for her while she packs. Moving can be stressful and a few hours of help can be huge! Or you have a friend with a special needs child who seldom gets time to herself. Whenever you can, if able, help her out!
Don’t Push Your Business On Your Friend
Okay ladies, I might ruffle a few feathers here but I’m going to say it. Please don’t spam your friends with your business. Whether it’s Mary Kay, LuLaRoe, homemade candles, or any other business (yes even blogging), don’t pressure your friends to host a party, attend a party, follow you on Facebook or buy your products. Many families are on a budget and don’t have the extra money to spend on these things.
I can’t tell you how many acquaintances or friends from years ago have seemed, at first to want to strike up a friendship, only to then spend the next few months trying to sell me things. And I get it, I do. Many times we NEED to make an extra income, but not at the expense of our friends! This is an instant friendship turnoff for me if I feel like you only want to be friends to make money off of me.
If you have something to sell, make sure it’s known publicly on Facebook, post your sales on Facebook (just don’t overdue it) but leave it at that. If your friends know you sell Pampered Chef, they will reach out to you when they want to buy or host a party.
Support Your Friend’s Business
Okay, so I just said not to push your business on your friends but the flip side of that is that if you know your friend has a business, support it when you can! Looking for Christmas presents for some ladies in your life? Purchase Avon, Mary Kay or Pampered Chef from your friend to gift! Need a new pair of leggings, see what LuLaRoe your friend has in stock before shopping elsewear!
Maybe you are strapped for cash and can’t purchase anything right now. If your friend is on social media for their business, you can still support them there without spending a dime! Share their sales or comment on their business page’s Facebook updates. As someone who has a blog page on Facebook, I can tell you that getting Facebook to show our updates to people who follow our page is tough, but the more people who comment, “like” or otherwise engage with a business page the more it increases it’s viability, so support them online whenever you can, without spending a dime! I promise you they will notice and appreciate it!
Don’t Be Afraid to Be the One to Reach Out
Someone has to take the first step. Be that someone! Lonely moms are everywhere and chances are, the mom you are wanting to connect with would love to connect with you too. Ask her if she’d like to get together for a play date or grab some dessert together for a girl’s night once the kids are in bed. You never know what might become of it!