I like to think that, for the most part, my husband and I communicate well. NOW that is. But that wasn’t always the case….. To be completely honest, last year was REALLY HARD. We absolutely weren’t communicating hardly at all. Even though we had similar goals for a lot of things in life, we had different focuses on other topics. I wasn’t feeling understand. He wasn’t feeling appreciated. And nobody was winning in this race of life, love, and marriage. And you know what, the best piece of marriage advice that nobody tells you has made THE biggest difference! So I’ve partnered with Saatva Dreams to share it with you!
The Best Piece Of Marriage Advice That Nobody Tells You
About nine months ago, we made a change. We had to. There was just so much frustration and tears happening. So many fights. Honestly, I don’t think our marriage would have survived without this. Want to know what it is?
Well, my husband and I were talking one night and I honestly am not even sure exactly how the topic came up. But we started talking about sex. And somehow, he thought I suggested that we start having it more often, perhaps even on a schedule. Honestly, I have no idea what I said that sounded like that! (HA!) But I was going to roll with it. Because, to be honest, I was the one who was wanting to increase our current happenings. So we settled on every other night for a test run.
Side note, did you know that God designed sex as a good thing for a husband and wife!? Genesis 2:24 says ” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
Up front, we laid down some ground rules. There would be no “I just don’t feel like it” excuses. We were both committing 100% to this challenge. I mean, our marriage may be depending on it! Of course, if one of us was truly sick, (had to be pretty sick!), we could skip a night. But then the following night would be bumped to an “on night”. 1 Corinthians 7:5 “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
Comfort Of Knowing What To Expect
Honestly, before we took this challenge with each other, it was hard. There was always the “I wonder if he’ll/she’ll want to make love tonight?” wonderings. Or one of us wanting to but not wanting to “bother” the other one. Having a set schedule took away all the stress. We both know what’s happening when, no doubt or question about it. And bonus because now I know when to shave. 🙂
A funny story. About a month in, we had a fight. It mustn’t have been about anything too important because I honestly can’t remember what it was even about. But that evening, after putting the kids to bed, we still weren’t communicating real well. Then something happened to break the tension. My husband came up to me and said “you’re just lucky it’s an on night because otherwise you wouldn’t be getting any!” And then we both burst out laughing. Totally broke the tension. And when I could finally catch my breath, I had to admit to him that I had been having the exact same thought ALL day long! Yet, we both knew we were dedicated and would connect that night. So instead of this petty argument lasting for days, it dissipated quickly. What a relief!
But What If You REALLY Are Too Tired?
Short answer, NOPE! You’re never too tired. There’s been nights where we are both absolutely exhausted. But the fact is that once you get started, that weariness goes away. And after making love, you always feel so much better and are glad you put in the effort. We have yet to ever regret pushing through! Ecclesiastes 9:9 “Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil.”
Very quickly into this little experiment, we noticed a few things. The little things that used to become big things, no longer became issues. We were more patient with each other. And we were more patient with our kids. Life became much more enjoyable. So much so, that we’ve come to a conclusion. We think a lot of marriage problems could be solved with some dedication to sex. Putting time and energy into your spouse through making love really brings unity and peace to marriage.
In It For The Long Haul
This year, we actually just celebrated our 15th anniversary! Granted, it was with a lunch at Applebees and grocery shopping sans kids. But honestly, spending a ton of money won’t guarantee anyone a great marriage. And if it’s money you don’t have, it makes things even worse. So while I would have absolutely loved to have gone on a celebratory vacation for the occasion, it just wasn’t in the cards right now. And that’s okay. It’s a minor issue that didn’t (and won’t) turn into a big one.
So that’s it! That’s the biggest and best piece of marriage advice that nobody tells you! But I think it should definitely be woven into pre-marital counseling as well as marriage studies and classes. It can’t hurt and just may help!
And if you’re looking for more Bible versus on the matter, check out 1 Corinthians 7:1-40 and Proverbs 5:15-19.
Make Your Bedroom A Safe Haven To Help You Succeed At The Best Piece Of Marriage Advice That Nobody Tells You Challenge
Making your bedroom a place where you want to enjoy your spouse is a great step to take as well. Clear out the clutter. Leave the technology out of the bedroom. Make the space comforting and inviting. And you can do that with the help of Saatva Dreams.
Saatva Dreams is a line of luxurious 100% organic cotton sheets and pillows, mindfully-made and designed for the ultimate sleep and enjoyment. So along with our (dare I say fun) initiative, my husband and I upgraded our bedding.
So now we get to wrap ourselves in luxurious 100% organic cotton sheets and pillows that are mindfully-made and designed for the ultimate sleep.
Irresistibly soft and luxurious, the Saatva Dreams Lofton sheets are made from 100% long-staple organic cotton in a fine sateen weave. Which means they are ultra soft and smooth. And the pillows are comfortable too! Slipping into bed at night now makes me feel like I’m staying at a luxurious resort!
Buy It: Head over to Saatva Dreams to learn more about what they offer.
One very lucky Thrifty Nifty mommy reader will receive a Saatva Dreams Luxury Sheet Set and 2 Pillows, valued at $500! This giveaway is open to the US and Canada. Just enter the widget below for your chance. Good luck!