With 7 kids, nearly anyone you ask is going to categorize our family as a “large family”. Most days I don’t think of us at that, but I do admit that when I see a photo of all of us today, it does look large then.
When we are all out together there are a handful of questions we get pretty frequently. I’m going to try to answer them for you today.
I’ve answered them below in much the same order we are often asked these questions, although some people do stop after the first few ones.
Don’t you know what causes that?
*Eyeroll.* Yep, we figured it out – don’t you know?
Don’t you have a TV?
Yes, we’ve got 3 actually, plus a projector we use for movie nights outside occassionally.
Are you Catholic?
No, we aren’t Catholic.
Are you Morman?
No, we aren’t Morman either.
Are you Christian?
Yes, we are a Christian family.
Oh okay, so you must homeschool your kids then, right?
Ha ha, yep, we homeschool and I LOVE it!
I understand that many moms don’t share this same feeling, but personally, I would be so sad if I had to send my kids to school and miss out on all of that time with them. My kids and I are so close and I love it!
Homeschooling also means I’m able to adjust the education for each individual child. I’m learning so much more right along with them that I never learned in public school.
Aren’t you afraid your kids won’t get enough socialization?
No, they have lots of friends through church that we get together with outside of church too. Not only are our children well socialized with other children their own age, they also get a lot of opportunities to socialize with people of all ages.
They aren’t afraid to converse with adults and they understand how to engage with children much younger than them too. Socially, I believe they are very well-rounded.
So, you wanna be like the Duggars then?
This is one of those questions that could take a while to answer because we have similiarities but also many ways we are different as well.
I think a lot of people think that just because you have more than the traditional 2 children and you’re a Christian that homeschools, it must mean you believe everything the Duggars do, but that’s just not the case.
So, while there are some things we’d agree with them on, there are others we don’t.
Do you believe it’s okay to use birth control?
I’ve learned that the term “birth control” can mean different things to different people.
We are a pro-life family and will not use anything that’s abortive, so any type of hormonal contraceptive is out (the pill, IUD, morning-after pill, ect.).
Our religious beliefs when it comes to having children is closest to the traditional Catholic belief (and what was the belief held by basically all Christians until the 20th century).
Are you going to have more kids?
We take children one pregnancy at a time and then pray and reassess our family, health, ect. I am currently recovering from 2 back-to-back miscarriages, the last being a 2nd trimester loss which was very hard and heartbreaking on all of us.
We’ve always said we don’t want to end our childbearing years with a miscarriage and we still feel that way. Hopefully there will still be at least one more little one joining our family at some point, however I’m not currently pregnant.
Are you in the IFB like the Duggars?
No, we’re not. IFB stands for Independent Fundamental Baptist. We aren’t Baptists. We have no affiliation with Gothard or the homeschool conferences that the Duggars promote.
I see you’re wearing pants?
I don’t feel convicted that women must wear skirts every day, although I do believe both men and women should dress modestly in whatever they chose to wear. You won’t see me out at the beach in a bikini, for example.
I do LIKE to wear dresses though, so you may see me wearing them sometimes, especially to church on Sundays.
Okay, so how do you afford all of these kids? You’ve gotta be getting money from the government right?
We don’t take any money from the governement besides the child tax credits we receive on our taxes and the salary my husband earns as an employee of the Department of Justice.
Actually, I take that back. Two of our children qualify for the Hope Scholarship, which is a form of school choice in West Virginia. Parents with children in the program can use the funds towards private school or homeschooling. We use ours for their homeschooling and that helps us to purchase curriculum and educational materials for those two children.
Considering what we recieve for the Hope Scholarship is less than 50% of what the state says it costs them per-child in public school, we are still saving the government money by utilizing that program and homeschooling them instead of sending them to public school.
We are mostly a 1-income family however I do earn a little bit of extra money for us from this blog via the ads you see on my site. (Thanks, you’re helping our grocery budget.)
Our income is under 100K a year. Over the years we worked very hard to be debt free except for our mortgage. That has helped us tremendously over the years.
And, as the website name suggets, I’m pretty thrifty. Ask any of my kids and they will tell you that often their favorite Christmas gifts are things I have thrifted for them throughout the year. Sometimes I even find them things on my local Buy Nothing Group or that friends on Facebook are giving away.
For example, Jacob’s big gift this year was a new gecko. He has been wanting one after pet-sitting for a friend from church. Well, another friend of mine just happenned to be giving one away back in November. He was so excited on Christmas!
Essentially we just try to live within our means. Some years we don’t take a vacation, like this past year, because we had quite a few medical expenses (you might remember that our 4-year-old spent 2 weeks in the hospital and then I had an overnight hospital stay for my 2nd trimester miscarriage delivery).
Other years we take our tax refund and put some of that towards an affordable vacation, like renting a beach house. The beach is free fun and we can make our meals at the vacation house to save money.
How much do you spend on groceries every month?
After our mortgage, groceries are the biggest expense for us. There are certain things we pay a little more for to get organic, like flour, meat and eggs and lately I’ve been splurging on raw milk.
I would estimate on average we’re spending $1200-$1500 each month on groceries, including the costs for our pets and things like supplements.
I shop usually at either Sam’s Club or Martin’s Grocery store, being very mindful to watch for sales. If there is a good sale on meat or other things we eat/use, I stock up. I got ham for about 50% off last week at Sam’s Club because they are clearing out extra from Christmas.
One of the reasons it’s hard to estimate how much we’re spending on groceries each month is because when I’m at Sam’s Club and see something extra we might need, if it’s a good price, I go ahead and get that too. Last week it was another pair of sweatpants for Jacob and a dog bed.
I try to make as much as home from scratch, not only for the health benefits but also to save money. We seldom eat out.
So in short, yes, groceries cost us a lot and I hope the prices come down a bit in the future.
Aren’t You Worried Your Kids Don’t Get Enough Time With You?
To be honest, I think this is probably something that every good parent worries, right? However, because my kids are homeschooled, I think they probably get more time with me than a lot of kids get with their parents. Homeschooling also means setting bedtime that work for us.
Something I started doing a little while ago is “special nights” where the kids take turns spending time with me one-on-one. They do the same thing with Orin.
Oftentimes it’s just us staying home and doing something together. With Aram, that usually means playing chess. With Gideon it usually means making chocolate bars together in the kitchen. Sometimes however we will take them out for some special time.
Any time I have an errand to run I will take one of the kids with me. Usually I will stop and get them a treat while we are out. My older kids especially love the frozen coffee drinks at McDonald’s which I can usually get at a discount by using their app.
Having time with 7 children is not impossible, but you do need to be intentional. “Me time” is not something I utilize very often. And frankly, I’m okay with that. One day my kids will be grown and I will have far too much “me time”.
How much laundry do you wash every week?
I don’t keep track to be honest, but it’s a lot. I have a commercial-sized Maytag washer and dryer and typically run a load every day at least. I’d say it’s probably 7-10 loads a week.
The older 5 kids all fold and put their own clothes away which helps!
How do you keep up with chores?
I wrote a whole post on that. You can read it here. I find having a system helps so much!
Did you always want 7 kids and/or a large family?
Growing up I used to say I wanted 5 kids. When Orin and I were dating that’s what I would say. I think he used to say he’d like 4.
Do you have a number of kids you plan to stop at?
At this point we don’t have a number in mind. We just take things one baby at a time. As I mentioned though, we would still like one more for sure.
Do you hate your life?
(Okay, I haven’t been asked it that way, but I did have someone once tell me in the grocery store, “I would hate your life!” – with all my kids right there too, rude!)
I tell my husband all the time, “thank you!” because I feel like I am living the fairytale dream life. I always wanted to be a wife and mom, more than anything, and I can not image a better life! It’s the happiest, most joyful life. I just LOVE it so much!
Well, there you go. I think I’ve answered all of the main questions we get. If there are other questions I haven’t answered, feel free to leave me a comment.