I don’t care who you are, we all struggle with feeling lonely at one time or another. As children we get hurt because we are last picked for kickball (even though we might suck at kickball)–it still doesn’t feel good to be left out. As teenagers we lose our minds if we aren’t invited to the biggest sleepover of the year. As young adults, we leave our high school/college years behind and wonder how we are EVER going to make it through life. Loneliness definitely does not end as we move into our adult years!
Adulting is hard and many times it means moving away from family & friends, starting a new job, joining a new church, and losing touch with many friends as time goes on. Naturally, women are more emotional, so while this might affect men, this is typically a problem women struggle with most. Stay at home moms, working women, single, married…..I would venture to say all women have struggled with this from time to time. We get busy taking care of our homes, kids, spouses, jobs, etc., but still at one time or another have felt completely alone. We can be in a crowded room with 20 things on our social plate and still long for more! Well, TRUST ME, you aren’t ALONE in this feeling! I have struggled with this for many years and by no means have the cure-all answer, but I have found some things that have worked for me and helped me to see the bigger picture. If you are truly feeling alone and nothing you do seems to help, please seek professional help. Here are 10 ways to cope with loneliness:
If you want to feel unconditional, pure love….adopt a dog, cat, snake, etc. It doesn’t matter how many legs they do or do not have, just get a pet! People frown upon talking to yourself when you’re alone, but talking to your pet is totally acceptable! Do it, often and sincerely! They won’t even judge you–trust me!
Independence (yes, I get that this isn’t the first thing you think about when being lonely)
This might sound strange as a cure, but one of the biggest reasons you feel alone is because you feel left out and like you are missing all the fun! You see others out on adventures, living life and you are just sitting on the sidelines! If you have someone to go out with great, BUT let me tell you, one of the biggest thrills is conquering something ALONE! It doesn’t have to be something grand, something small will work…just get out there, do something! The best adventure for this cure is something physical. Some great things you can try are:
- Rock Climbing
- Starting a Hobby
- Starting a Side Business
- Your choice!
It might take a few times to get a real feeling of independence, but it will happen. Then, the funny thing is, others will want to join in because you are loving your new independent identity! Only you can grow your happiness–never forget that!
This is a great way to 1-meet new people 2-feel a sense of importance 3-get involved 4-make a difference 5-get up off your sofa!! Why not start today!?
Me Time (again, this seems like a weird cure, but embrace it)
While you’re thinking this is strange, sometimes, even if we feel lonely, we NEED alone time. Use this time to help understand why you’re truly feeling this way. Dive into a good book, binge watch an old or new show, spend the day eating junk food and hanging our in your jammies. This is needed every now and then to help you see that it is okay to feel alone. In fact, sometimes it’s a mental health day that you desperately needed. When you get back to your routine, you will feel rejuvenated, needed and you might even enjoy your daily chores more! Yes, it’s alone time, but it can help to regain some perspective while you shamelessly enjoy another episode of One Tree Hill. A good cry is a sure-fire way to help you move on from loneliness!
Do you love yourself? Are you satisfied with your life? Are you truly as miserable with your life as you sometimes feel? Are you happy in your skin? These are all questions to check yourself on. If you aren’t satisfied, how you can you remedy this? One of the main reasons for loneliness, sadly, is a low self-esteem. We are never going to truly be satisfied with ourselves, but try this….make a list of 10 things you DO LOVE about yourself, and it will help you see your true worth. If you love yourself, others will be drawn to you!
Mental Clarity & Traveling
Getting out on the open road does wonders for loneliness! Can’t afford to travel? Then simply taking a drive will work too! Get away from it all and just let it go! Clearing your mind will help to bring a new perspective when you return. It’s also a great time to sing sappy, girly songs at the top of your lungs. That is a cure-all for any ailment!
Many times a doctor will prescribe medications to help with loneliness/depression, but honestly, essential oils can have the same effect. Try some. Do your research, contact a store/direct sales rep and try some different mixtures. Relaxation, easing the mind, clarity, calming, immune health, hormone imbalance…all can be achieved with a few drops of oils. Many times, a feeling of loneliness can be a chemical imbalance, so let nature work for you, not against you!
Nobody wants to constantly feel alone, so why not join others who feel the same way! Talk through your issues, concerns, emotions with others struggling in the EXACT same way! It will help you to see you aren’t the only one out there feeling this way! Ya never know til you give it a try!
Organization & Control
Many times, losing control is the key to feeling helpless, alone & miserable. When your world is swirling all around you, you can feel like you’re drowning in a sea all by yourself. You’re on a sinking ship and NO ONE is around to save you. This is the worst feeling, truly, its is! SO, why not get your lifeboat under control. I know, this is easier said than done, but it is possible. Tape some uplifiting quotes around your house/office and put your big girl panties on! Seize the day, get organized, take the reigns of control and live…truly live!!
Get Off Your Butt & Go Make Friends
Finally…the hardest thing to overcome and stubbornness! You have felt left out for so long, that you have simply given up! You don’t care to make friends, you don’t care about ones you already have, you simply do not care! Well, it’s time to start caring again! This one will take a while and it’s going to take you making the first step! Call, text, join, ask, seek out and get involved! You will love it, eventually! You just have to take that first step towards happiness!